


A bundle of joy

by RyouheiAkane



Category: Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet (1968), Romeo e Giulietta - Ama e Cambia il Mondo, Romeo et Juliette - Presgurvic, Rómeó és Júlia (Színház)
Genre: Crack, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Nonsense, Plain crack, Please Don't Kill Me, Tumblr Prompt, don't try to look for it, forgive me Father for I have sinned, treat it as such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 16:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6058870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyouheiAkane/pseuds/RyouheiAkane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt by SoSearchingRomeo from Tumblr:<br/>Yeah, but what if La Mort got between Tybalt and Mercutio during a fight and just went:</p><p>*surprise, I’m actually not Death but Life and here’s a baby! *pushes bundle of joy in Tycutio arms* 8’D</p>
            </blockquote>





	A bundle of joy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SosearchingRomeo (Breakingthestandards)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breakingthestandards/gifts).



> Crack fic written for a laugh with no pretenses whatsoever, please treat it as such. I'm so sorry Great Ancestors.
> 
> I don't own any of the characters nor do I make any money out of this.

Oh, for the sake of vegan nachos!

Here I was wandering around these two closet cases and I just thought that they look like they could use some help getting it on eventually, I've grown so tired of their quarrels, everyone in Verona knows they are just too tsundere to confess their feelings, henceforth it has arrived my time to fold things out for them, alright?

 

First things first, I'll have to work on a diversion, maybe a duel in umm... three days? Yes, sounds rad!

Recapping: three days, tragic fight, they die. Perfect. I am ready to flick some noses!

 

......................

 

Oh, Lord of the Rings, they're fighting again...

Let me get my giant sized popcorn, this might get on for a while, if anything I've learnt they really enjoy this weird foreplay, they friggin' insult each oth-- wait, hold my beer, it's my show now!

 

“Hey, you two!”

“Wha--!”

“Eeeeeek!”

“Alright, stop screaming like a girl, 'Cutio! Geez...”

“Excuse me, a-are you...”

“Death? Morte? Mort? Muerte? Tod? Smert'? Halál, etcetera? Yes, well no, I am actually Life and I've brought you something.”

“What's this?”

“It's a bundle of joy, can't you see that?”

“Yes, well, I mean, what am I do to with it?”

“Nothing, it's just a bundle of joy, doesn't really need any maintenance.”

“So what now?”

“Now you both get that broomstick out of your smol arses and let the snogging begin!”

“What the living toothpaste is wrong with you?!”

“Hey, watch your mouth Hello Kitty!”

“Tybalt, what has happened? Was I dreaming?”

“Oh ethereal batshit, 'Cutio, are you being intentionally dense?”

“I'll leave now, do your best with the banging!”

“For eff's sake!”

“Tybalt, it's our baby!”

“What would you name it, my fair Mercutio?”

“Joey...”

“Fantasy is your second name, I guess...”

“Oh shut up, you overgrown toddler!”

“I love you too.”

 

 

 

Yay! It worked, finally my job here is done. Now I'll go get a sandwich and a front row seat for the New Adventures of Precious Cinnamon Rolls.


End file.
